Page 95 - a-columbia-county-boys-recollections-and-memories-of-columbia-county-florida-(2012)-lenvil-h-dicks

A Columbia County Boy's Recollections and Memories of Columbia County Florida (2012) Lenvil H. Dicks

A LLTTLE HUMOR

Three trumpet players were auditioning to get a position playing in the U.S. Marine Band. The first
sergeant was going to conduct the audition, to determine which of the three played the best, since there
was only one opening in the trumpet section.

He called the first trumpet player in, and he had a very fine looking trumpet case, which he opened and
took out a shiny absolute pure gold trumpet. It was the finest and most expensive trumpet that sergeant
had ever seen, and he told the fellow to go ahead and start playing.

So he started playing, and it did not take but just a minute or two for the sergeant to decide that this was
the best trumpet player he had ever heard, he played marvelously, so he cut the audition a little short,
thinking he had already found his man to fill the spot, and told him, “Put your horn back in the case, you
played very, very well, but I still got to audition these other two fellows so it saved them the trouble to
come for an audition”.

So he called the next trumpet player in and he opened his trumpet case and took out an absolute flawless
stunning silver trumpet, so shiny it would almost blind you. The sergeant doing the audition said, “Well
let me hear you play.”

So the guy with the silver trumpet put it up to his lips and started playing, and if anything, he played
even better than the first guy did. He was absolutely unbelievably talented and the sergeant could not
believe his ears that he had heard two such fine trumpet players on the same day. So he told the trumpet
player who was auditioning with the silver trumpet, “Well put it back in the case, the audition is over,
but I’ve got one more guy up there 1 promised an audition and I’m going to have to do it.”

So he called in the third guy who had an old trumpet case that looked like it had been ran over by a bull
dozer, but he opened it up and took out the most ragged, dented up, ugly, tarnished, trumpet you had
ever seen, it just looked like it was 100 years old and had never had any care taken of it. So the sergeant
told the guy, “Well let me hear you play.”

So the guy put his trumpet up to his mouth, and believe it or not, he played absolutely terrible:

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