Page 173 - some-stuff-i-wrote-and-some-stuff-i-didn't-(2011)-h-morris-williams

Some Stuff I Wrote and Some Stuff I Didn't (2011) H. Morris Williams

Church Football

Quarterback Sneak - Church members quietly leaving during the invitation.]

Draw Play - What many children do with the bulletin during worship.

Half-time - The period between Sunday School and worship
when many choose to leave.
Benchwarmer - Those who do not sing, pray, work, or apparently do
anything but sit
Backfield-in-Motion - Making a trip to the back (restroom or water fountain)
during the service.
Staying in the Pocket - What happens to a lot of money that should be given
to the Lond's work.
Two-minute Warning - The point at which you realize the sermon is almost
over and begin to gather up your children and belongings*
Instant Replay - The preacher loses his notes and falls back on last week's
illustrations.
Sudden Death - What happens to the attention span of the congregation if
the preacher goes 'overtime'.

Trap - You're called on to pray and are asleep.

End Run - Getting out of church quickly without speaking to any guest or
fellow member.
Flex Defense - The ability to allow absolutely nothing said during the sermon
to affect your life.
Halfback Option - The decision of 50% of the congregation not to return for
the evening service or Bible study.

Blitz - The rush for the restaurants following the benediction.

165
www.LakeCityHistory.com LCH-UUID: 644B81FB-81A1-47B2-8D77-49DC2A1A0BE8