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Some Stuff I Wrote (2001) H. Morris Williams

Of Sky Hooks and Such

January 25,1994

When I was 12 years old, I got one of my first paying jobs, working as a “soda jerk” at the
Seminole Pharmacy on North Marion Street for pharmacists Frank Appell and Mack
Lovett. My first day on the job, I arrived early, ready to get to work and earn my pay. Little did I

know that by bosses had planned a good-hearted initiation to welcome me and help me get to know
the town.

So, here is what happened my first day at work. “Mr. Mack” called me into his office and
told me he needed me to run an errand. He said he had lent his “sky hooks,” his “paper-stretcher,”

and his “left-handed monkey wrench” to Max Law and would I please go to Max Law’s Fish Market
and get them. Eager to please, I rushed to the fish market but Max Law (who was in on the joke all

the way) said that he was sorry but he had lent the items out. The sky hooks were now with John
Giebeig at the grocery store. The paper-stretchers were at the Devane’s at Eagle Clothing, and the

left-handed monkey wrench was at Nathan Zelkind’s Columbia Bargain House.
No problem, I thought, so off I went. But there was a problem. John Giebeig said he had

loaned the sky hooks to the Baumsteins’ at the dry goods store; the Devane’s said they had lent the
paper-stretcher to Grady Cochran at the hardware store; and Nat Zelkind sent me all the way up town
to Leo Gelberg’s clothing store to retrieve the monkey wrench. Obedient kid that I was, I went

everywhere they sent me — and every new store just sent me to another store. Right when I started
worrying that I might have to report back to Mr. Mack empty-handed, 1 got a lucky break. Ross

Durden of Dollar Studio told me, yes, he did have the sky hooks but had just that minute returned
them to the drug store. Likewise, Claude Hurst of Hurst’s Hole-in-the-Wall claimed he had also sent

the paper-stretcher back, and some guy at The Powell Hotel echoed a similar story about the monkey
wrench — all the items were on their way back to the drug store.

Sure enough, when I got back to the drug store, a serious-faced Mr. Mack told me all the
items had been returned and that I had done a good job as an errand boy and wouldn’t I like a nice
cold milk shake as my reward. I said, “Yes sir” to that.

Deep within my curiosity, I wondered just what a sky hook, a paper-stretcher and left-handed
monkey wrench looked like, but I just figured I would learn all that later on the job. And so I did.

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